Champagne Problems & Capitalist Nightmares

A fictional diary entry on the struggle of beauty and liberation

A British Shorthair cat with wide, curious eyes stands on a brown carpet, appearing to reach up with its front paws. The scene includes various objects scattered around: a pink, fluffy faux fur accessory, a black vibrator with a transparent floral-patterned handle connected to a charging cable, a pink power strip, a black lip balm labeled — Power Bar:

Pedestal

Vibrator:

Nightfall via Fotografiska Berlin Store

Lip Balm:

L:a Bruket

Lip Stick:

Byredo

Power Bar:

Pedestal

Shoes:

Ugg

I’ve recently read a book called “Sex and The Single Girl”. “Sex and The Single Girl” was written by Helen Gurley Brown, Cosmopolitan’s editor-in-chief for 32 years. In it, the real life 1962 version of Carrie Bradshaw describes in detail, what a girl* needs to do in order to become a hot, successful bachelorette.

A narrow hallway with various fashion accessories and items: A black clothes rack holds a leopard jacket, a tie and a black bag with silver details. Next to it is a silver hard-shell suitcase with another black handbag on top. On the floor are a single black boot, white headphones and several paper boxes. On the left, shopping bags in green and black lean against the wall. At the end of the corridor is a furry armchair with another black bag on it, in front of a reflective wall. — Shoes:

Diesel

Bag:

Namilia

Lounge Chair:

Sweef

Jacket:

Marlene Birger via Zalando

Tie:

Moschino via Zalando

Suitcase:

Eastpak

Bag:

Namilia

Only sleep with married men – because it’s less troublesome, but sexually gratifying. Be a great hostess and throw parties in your home – because socializing is the key to success. Eat a diet consistent of raw milk, wine and eggs – I am not exactly sure what she was getting at with this one.

An untidy kitchenette with various foodstuffs and kitchen utensils. On the dark worktop are open jars of pickles, jam and ketchup, a small bottle of white wine, butter, bread, a carton of UHT whole milk and other ingredients. A futuristic-looking kettle and a lemon squeezer with a halved lemon can also be seen. In the background are a gas stove, a bowl of food and blue and white tiles on the wall. — Quencher:

Stanley

Kettle:

Alessi

Carving Fork:

Mono

Lemon Squeezer:

Alessi

Matcha Tea:

Paper and Tea

Carving Knife:

Mono

Spatula:

Mono

Next to Brown’s pretty unhinged takes (even for her time) I oddly found comfort in her writing. I saw my reflection in her: There is something unabashedly glamorous about being a working woman*. I catch myself craving beautiful things, to shower and celebrate myself with physical extensions of myself. What is all that hard labor worth, if not a glamorous and alluring life?

A pink croc shoe with colorful badges, including a car, a rainbow and a tiger, is cleaned in a sink with soapy water. A hand wrings out a wet sponge while water and foam flow over the shoe. — Shoe:

Crocs

Sometimes, I feel guilty about all of it. After all, my bad purchasing decisions have often left me in a pinch. And today, financial stability and independence as a woman* could be considered the biggest luxury of them all.

Commodity feminism is frowned upon, justifiably so. You don’t need to validate yourself with what you buy. Success shouldn’t be measured in designer edition Bialetti’s, Aesop hand soap or Tekla sheets.

A black round table with various objects: a plate of spaghetti with olives, a boiled egg in an egg holder, a small metal cup with black berries on a scale, a burning candle, a table lamp, a glass jar with a teapot, as well as various smoking utensils such as paper, tobacco and a rolled joint. The table looks slightly untidy, with scattered olives, leftover pasta and tobacco crumbs. — Candle Holder:

Fundamental.Berlin

Candle:

Loewe

Salt & Pepper Grinder:

Hay Arcs

Rolling Papers:

Holk

Salt & Pepper Grinder:

Alessi

Expresso Mug Set:

Service Projects

Lamp:

Louis Poulsen

Tea Pot:

Mono

Joint Carry Case:

Holk

Beauty and femininity are interchangeable and with that, consumerism is as well. But honestly, in a world run by cringe men trying to take ownership over our autonomy, what else is there left to do as a woman* other than aesthetic escapism and unhinged hedonism?

Bathroom shelf with dark green tiles in the background. On it are a black Loewe hand soap, a dark blue perfume bottle with a silver lid and a small silver atomizer. Next to it is a green, striped jacket over a brown BOSS shirt. In the foreground is a silver tube squeezer with an almost empty Marvis toothpaste tube. A contact lens container and a single false eyelash can also be seen. — Polo Shirt:

Nike via Zalando

Long Sleeve:

Hugo Boss via Zalando

Squeezer:

Aleyè

Lipgloss:

Byredo

Parfum:

Dries van Noten

Soap:

Loewe

A towel rack with a bikini bottom featuring a candle and a perfume bottle, enhancing the decor with a touch of luxury and relaxation. — Bikini Bottom:

Norma Kamali

Parfum:

L'Artisan Parfumeur

Candle:

L:a Bruket

Tea Light Holder:

Fundamental.Berlin

Sometimes, a sense of urgency keeps me awake at night. Or hits me when I am on my way home from work. I feel frustrated. And angry. Having sex and being a single girl* aren’t the only things I have to offer. But they are also nice. And on some days, I hate myself for thinking that way.

Open dishwasher loaded with dirty dishes, including plates, bowls, cups, and utensils like a vibrator, a Stanley Quencher and a toothbrush, under a kitchen counter with a few containers and items on top. — Shoe:

Versace

Vibrator:

Nightfall via Fotografiska Berlin Store

Toothbrush:

Berninox

Quencher:

Stanley

Let’s phrase it in a Brown-style, unfiltered way: Being a girl* is fucking hard. You already have to do so much to survive, let alone to thrive. Instead of just existing, you have to hack your way through a system pitting against you. It’s exhausting.

A glass coffee table with various objects on it, including a red can of — Pens:

Kaweco

Pen holders:

Fundamental.Berlin

But Plug:

Nightfall via Fotografiska Berlin Store

Espresso Maker:

Alessi

Phone:

Samsung

Tray:

Fundamental.Berlin

Candle:

Loewe

Footstool:

Sweef

So how about we find a middle ground and give women* a fucking break? After all, you can still be angry at tech billionaires setting the world on fire in a Prada two piece. So I curl up in my 300 thread count sheets, and breathe in the smell of Margiela’s Lazy Sunday Morning diffuser.

Maybe, in the end, we don’t have to have it all figured out.

Maybe, we need to embrace our own chaos while we traverse it.